Currently, I am on a job search. Many hours have been spent searching through job descriptions, creating cost/benefit and pro/con lists, and contemplating what I truly want out of a forty hour work week.

However, when trying to get in touch with what I want, I find that sometimes it’s as simple as my memories…

I recall a time when I was about 7 years old. At that age, I didn’t care much for showers. Who wanted to waste all that time?

This particular afternoon, we were at my aunt’s friend’s house and it started raining. It was one of those blissful, hard summer rains; the kind where the air smells crisp and clean, the water cascades down the gutters, and tin roofs become musical instruments.

Many people were there- friends of my aunt’s friends, and a boy I used to play with during those days. Well, being young, the boy and I decided to dance in the rain. It was more fun back then, too, because who washed our clothes when they got muddy? Certainly not us!

The adults decided to capitalize on the moment…they brought out a bar of soap. Our free flowing, dance of twirling was punctuated by Ivory Bar scrubbing, cleaning off a day’s worth of frog hunting and play. The nearby stream got stronger as we washed, and I still can picture our dance and the feeling of freedom. I cannot remember what I wore, but I distinctly remember how it felt.

When I was, oh say, 17, I rediscovered twirling…with renewed vigor. There was no goal, just spinning in circles with the pure reason of dizziness. At 21, we added starry skies and a bit of adult beverage, along with a mountain that made for an interesting obstacle. At 22, though, it stopped. No more twirling…why? I don’t know. Perhaps I felt grown up, perhaps I was too focused on achieving and doing things and my spirit wasn’t free enough to do such frivolous activities. You can’t put twirling on a resume, anyway…where would it even fit?

Let’s fast forward to summer of 2008. 23 going on 24, I was finished with college courses for good. Something in me clicked, and I twirled again. Perhaps in the rain, perhaps in a waterfall, I don’t remember my first re-acquaintance with the activity. However, I do remember the feeling…the grass beneath my feet, skirt flowing around me, the sky swirling round my head. I’ve done it a few times since, most memorably in a wooden swing. I’ve perfected my rope twirl…the lower you hang on, the faster you spin. It’s fantastically fun. My twirling today is more sporadic, but it’s just as joy-filled as it used to be.

Looking back, I realize that this is what I am looking for while looking for work- I want to maintain a twirling state of soul. I realize that work can be hard, but I don’t want it to be so draining that I don’t want to twirl.

This is my benchmark for success; if I can achieve all my dreams and still feel free enough to twirl, I will feel successful.

What is your benchmark for success? When will you feel you’ve reached the top of your game?

In twirling and self sustainability,

AB